White coat. Heels.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
