hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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