I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize