all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
