Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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