She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
