Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
