I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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