doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize