I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
