I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
