pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
