I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
