did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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