i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
