You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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