Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
