I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
