Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
