Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize