hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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