he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
