I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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