does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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