well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
