some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
farters have to be the big spoon...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
