I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
