Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
