I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
