Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
