Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
