He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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