I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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