you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
