He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
