Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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