my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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