Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize