Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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