Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
