You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
