I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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