worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
