think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
