so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize