Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize