I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
