I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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