It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
