There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize