Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
