apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
