So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
