No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
