He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
