And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize