I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
