Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
