"it" just moved
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
