You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
