How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
