Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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