They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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