Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
