im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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