This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
