I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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