I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
