My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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