How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
