You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize