Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
