I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
