How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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