McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
