She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
